Wigeze wumva ugize ugutekereza kubi mu buzima bwawe bwa muri munsi? Wenda birakugora gutekereza mu buryo bwiza ngo uhindure izo ntekerezo zawe mbi? Iki ni ni ikibazo rusange kandi kigira ingaruka kuri benshi muri twe, icyakora birashoboka guhangana na cyo kandi tukakibonera umuti.
Bishobora kutoroha kumenya uko wabigenza ngo ukumire ibitekerezo bibi bikuzamo cyangwa ngo ubibuze kuba bibi kurushaho no kukugumamo ariko hari uburyo wabigenza, nk’uko mu nkuru yanditswe ku rubuga The Law of Attraction babivuga.
Icya mbere, ni ngombwa kumenya impamvu intekerezo mbi [negative thoughts] zituzamo ndetse n’ingaruka zishobora kutugiraho.
Ese ubundi ni mpamvu ki tugira intekerezo mbi?
Impamvu zo ni nyinshi zatuma ugira intekerezo mbi harimo nko kuba ukikijwe n’abantu bagira bene izo ntekerezo, inshuti zawe zigupinga cyangwa zitekereza hafi, aho uba cyangwa uburyo wowe wibona n’uko wiganiriza ubwawe n’amateka yawe.
Abantu bamwe bibaho ko ibitekerezo bibi bibazamo kandi bakaba uko babigenza ngo bigobotore umujagararo w’ubwonko n’umuhangayiko (stress and anxiety), byombi bishobora kuzamura urwego rw’intekerezo mbi.
Impamvu ni uko igihe ujagaraye mu bwonko ufite siteresi cyangwa uhangayitse, kenshi haba hari ibyago byinshi kurutaho byo kurebera ibintu mu ruhande rubi hanyuma bikagutera gutekereza ibibi bishoboka kurusha ibindi.
Intekerezo mbi zishobora kubaho igihe wumva uri hasi cyangwa wagize umunsi mubi hamwe umuntu azinduka afite umushiha avuga nabi yumva nta wamwegera.
Ibi bishobora gutuma wiyumva nabi witekerezaho nabi, ukishinja amakosa maze ukizamuramo ibibi bikwerekeye.
Iyo bikomeje kuba bitya buri munsi, bishobora kukuganisha ku gahinda gakabije [depression], bikaba bishimangira impamvu ukwiye kwiga uko wakwigobora intekerezo mbi.
Ingero 5 z’ibitekerezo bibi byizana mu bwonko bwacu
Mbere y’uko tuganira uburyo bwo kwigobotora ibitekerezo bibi bituzamo, ubanza ari byiza kurushaho kuba twaganira ku bwoko butane bw’ibitekerezo bibi bituzamo tutabigennye usanga tugira turi benshi.
Izi ni ingero kandi zishobora gutandukana bitewe n’umuntu ku giti cye, ariko wasanga nawe hari ubwo bimwe bikubaho niba atari byose. Ni byiza ko wabimenya ukabitahura bikikubaho kugira ngo umenye uko ubirwanya bwangu bitarakugiraho ingaruka.
1. Gutekerereza abandi (Mind reading)
Bumwe mu buryo bwo gutekereza nabi butubaho ni ugutekerereza abandi tukaba nk’aho twasomye intekerezo zabo (mind reading). Aha ni igihe mu buryo tutazi dutekereza ko tuzi icyo abandi batekereza. Urugero kuba worereje umuntu ubutumwa ukibwira ko yabusomye akabwirengagiza.
Gutekerereza umuntu nabi ni nko gutekereza uti: “Ahari yirengagije ubutumwa mwoherereje kuko andakariye.” Aha ni igitekerezo kikuzamo igihe wibwira icyo runaka atekereza nyamara atigeze we ubwe akubwira uko yiyumva.
Ibi bishobora kwangiza kuko ushobora gutangira kwishyira hasi kandi ukihunza unajya kure y’inshuti cyangwa abagize umuryango wawe kubera ikintu utekereza nyamara kitari ukuri. Uramutse wize kureka guhita ufata imyanzuro ahubwo ukiga kubaza abantu uko biyumva, byagukiza siteresi nyinshi ugira itari ngombwa.
2. Kwishinja amakosa no kwicira imanza
Ubundi bwoko bw’intekerezo mbi ni ugutekereza wishinja amakosa ari na ko wicira imanza (guilt thinking). Aha ni ha handi mu nkoranyamagambo yo mu bwonko bwacu hahoramo ijambo ‘nakabaye’, ‘nagombye’, cyangwa ‘iyaba’, ‘iyo menya’….igihe dutekereza ku makosa cyangwa ibintu twakoze.
Nubwo ubizi ko utahindura ahahise cyangwa ngo usubize ibihe inyuma, ntibibuza iteka intekerezo gusubira inyuma ku byabaye kandi bikadufata igihe tubitekereza.
Abantu mu busanzwe bagira ukwishinja amakosa igihe cyose bagumije intekerezo ku makosa bakoze.
Urugero, uravuga uti ‘Nakabaye nagiye muri siporo uyu munsi.’ Hanyuma ibi bikaba byagutera kumva wishinja ikosa ryo kuba utakoze siporo bigatuma utangira kwishyira hasi mu bitekerezo.
Nyamara ahubwo aho gutekereza utyo wishinja ikosa wakavuze uti ‘Sinagiye muri siporo uyu munsi, ariko nta cyo bitwaye. Nzajyayo ejo.’
3. Kubona uko ibintu bizagenda kandi ntawe umenya iby’ejo
Ibi byitwa Fortune Telling, bikaba uburyo bw’intekerezo zikuzamo aho utekereza ku kibi kiruta ibindi gishobora kubaho. Iyo wibanze ku bintu cyangwa ibihe bizaba mu nzagihe, kenshi bishobora kugutera gutekereza ibibi ukibwira ko hashobora kubaho ikintu kibi.
Urugero, wagiye mu kizamini cy’akazo cy’amagambo (job interview) wavayo ugatangira gutekereza uti ‘aka kazi ubanza atari akanjye. N’ukuntu abandi bari bahari bari bambaye neza, n’imodoka bajemo, ahaaahh!’ Urabona? Utangiye gutekereza no guhangayikishwa n’ibintu bibi bishoboka kandi bitaranaba.
Ibi ni bibi kuko bishobora kukubuza guharanira intego zawe, ndetse ukareka kwiyemeza ibikomeye (take risks) no kwigirira icyizere. Fortune telling ishobora kugira ingaruka zikomeye ku cyizere wigirira (self-esteem) mu gihe ikintu cyiza kiruta ibindi wakamenye ariko ntawe umenya iby’ejo kandi ejo hazaza hashobora kutuzanira ibyiza byinshi bityo hakaba hadakwiye kuguhangayikisha.
(Icyakora ibi ntibyoroshye nk’uku ubisomye, icyakora mu bika bikurikira, ndakumenera utubanga wagenderaho ukigobotora intekerezo mbi.)
4. Kwigereranya (comparisons)
Mu isi ya none, bishobora koroha cyane ko twigereranya n’abandi, cyane cyane bitewe n’imbuga nkoranyambaga. Buri wese uyu munsi ashyira (upload) amafoto ye meza aruta andi n’inkuru ze nziza akabishyira kuri ‘sitati’ kuri WhatsApp, kuri Facebook cyangwa IG story bishobora rimwe na rimwe kudusigira akantu ko kumva ducitse agatege kandi ntibibure akantu k’agashyari bituzamuramo nk’abantu.
Iyo wigereranya n’abandi ukizanamo ibitekerezo nk’ikigira kiti ‘Ni mwiza kundusha’ cyangwa ngo ‘Ese ko mbona bo bameze neza, njye nk’ubu ni kuki ntamera neza nk’abandi?’…bishobora kugutera kumva uri hasi ndetse bikakugeza ku gahinda gakabije (depression).
Ikintu iteka ukwiye kwibuka ni uko burya buri wese agira ingorane ze n’inenge utamenya kandi nta muntu n’umwe ubaho ubuzima buzira amakemwa (perfect time) akiri muzima.
Uramutse ubashije kwirebera mu rumuri rwiza ukibuka ko wa mugani wa Masabo “ingorane zibaho buri wese akamenya ize”, ko buri muntu afite ibimubabaza mu buzima bwe, byakorohereza kugerageza kurebera ibintu mu ruhande rwiza.
Ubutaha tuzakugezaho inkuru yagufasha kureka kwigereranya n’abandi ahubwo ukiyongerera icyizere ukwiye kwigirira.
5. Gushinja abandi amakosa
Indi ntekerezo mbi ikunda kutuzamo ni ugushinja rubanda rundi amakosa (blaming).
Ni ha handi wishinja cyangwa ugashinja abandi amakosa ku byabaye. Ibi bishobora gutuma wumva ubwawe nta cyo ushoboye ndetse ubwawe utaragenewe gutsinda mu buzima, ko uri ‘failure’ kandi iyi ni imwe mu nzira zimwe zikomeye zitera agahinda gakabije, nta kabuza.
Ku rundi ruhande, ushobora kubona ko ushinja abandi amakosa yateye ibibazo ufite aho kumva ko wasa n’ufata inshingano ukumva ko byanga bikunda ibikubaho n’uko ubyakira ubigiramo uruhare. Na none kwemera buri gihe bikoroheye ko uri umunyamakosa ntibizagufasha, ukwiye kurekera aho guhora wishinja amakosa.
Uko wabigenza ngo wigobotore ibitekerezo bibi
Ubwo tumaze kurebera hamwe bumwe mu bwoko bw’intekerezo mbi, reka noneho tuganire ibintu wakora ngo uzigobotore. Ibi ntibivuze ko uzahita wigobotora intekerezo mbi ntizizongere kukuzamo, ni ikintu buri wese acamo.
Icyakora, hari uburyo wabigenza ngo uhangane n’intekerezo mbi igihe cyose zikujemo. Iyo umenye gutahura bene izi ntekerezo, biroroha kumenya uko wabigenza.
1. Kwitekerezaho utuje nta kirogoya
Ni bimwe mu ndimi z’amahanga bita ‘meditation’. Bikaba uburyo n’inzira ikomeye yo gushyira intekerezo zawe hamwe kandi ukita ku bihe by’indagihe (present moment) n’uko wiyumva.
Bishobora gufasha kukugarura mu bihe, kandi bishobora kuba inzira nziza wkoresha igihe uri mu bihe bituma intekerezo mbi zizana mu mutwe kandi ukaba usa n’aho udafite uko uhita ubirwanya.
Iyo uri muri meditation na bwo ibitekerezo bibi hari ubwo bikuzamo ariko urabireka bikagenda. Urabimenya ko bihari nyamara ntubyiteho ahubwo ukibanda ku guhumeka kwawe.
Niba urimo kugira ibitekerezo bibi, ukaba ushobora uko wabona iminota 10, gerageza ushake ahantu heza hatuje umedite winjize kandi usohore umwuka mu bihaha ureke kwibanda ku bitekerezo bibi.
2. Hiundura uburyo bw’imitekerereze yawe
Iyo uzi ko ibitekerezo bibi bikuzamo, ushobora gutangira kugerageza kubihindura. Wenda ushobora kwibaza ubwawe impamvu ibi bitekerezo biri kukuzamo. Ese ni uko hari ikindi kintu cyabaye? Ese hari uburyo warebera icyo kintu mu rundi ruhande?
Ubundi buryo wahindura intekerezo mbi ni ukugerageza guhindura uko wabonaga ibintu. Urugero , niba utekereza uti “uyu munsi ndaza gutsindwa iki kizamini’’, ahubwo ugatekereza uti “Ndabizi ko mpangayikishijwe no kuba natsindwa iki kizamini, ariko nzi ko ningerageza uko nshoboye, biba bihagije.”
3. Shaka inshuti zigira ibitekerezo byiza zikarebera ubuzima mu ruhande rwiza
Aba ni ba bantu bitwa mu cyongereza “positive people”. Wigeze ugira itsinda ry’inshuti zigushyira hasi mu bitekerezo cyangwa zagize icyo zikuvugaho kitubaka kandi kibi kitakubaka (negative and unhelpful comment)? Ibi bishobora kugira uruhare ku buryo utekereza n’uko nawe ubona ibintu.
Igihe wiyumva uri hasi, inshuti nziza zifasha (supportive friends) ndetse n’umuryango bashobora kukugira inama ndetse bakagutera kureba uruhande rundi rw’ibintu ku byari biguhangayikishije.
Niba inshuti zawe ari za zindi zituma uhangayika gusa, ukwiye guhindura abo mubana.
Ntukeneye abantu bongera ibinyoro mu bibembe byawe niba uri umuntu usanzwe wigirira ibitekerezo bibi ngo ugire inshuti zimeze zityo kuko bikongerera ibibazo bikabyongera ubukana.
Shaka inshuti zikuzamura bitari zimwe zituma wiyumva nta gaciro ufite.
4. Kora urutonde rw’ibyo wishimira, ushimira (Gratitude List)
Ushobora kuba atari ubwa mbere wumvise ibi byo gukora urutonde rw’ibyo wishimira kandi iki ni ikintu cyiza kubera impamvu zitandukanye. Iyo wanditse ibintu ushimira Imana, ibyo wishimira cyangwa ineza wagiriwe, bituma wibanda ku byiza biri mu buzima bwawe muri icyo gihe.
Izi ntonde zimeze nk’umwitozo wo gushimira (gratitude exercise) aho witoza kwandika ibintu byiza no kuri wowe. Aha mu gihe utekereza ku byo udashoboye cyangwa wananiwe, ahubwo wiyibutsa imbaraga zawe n’ibyo ushobora kurusha ibindi ndetse n’ibindi uzi bikomeye cyangwa byoroheje wigeze kwiyemeza ukabigeraho.
Ibande ku bintu byiza wiyiziho cyangwa wabwiwe, urigera nko kuba uri umuntu wita ku gufasha abandi ndetse n’ineza wagiriye undi ejo hashize cyangwa ejobundi. Jya wandika ikintu cyiza cyose wiyiziho.
Ibi ushobora kubikora ubyutse cyangwa mbere yo kuryama, cyangwa ugatangira kwandika igihe cyose ibitekerezo bibi bikujemo.
5. Ivugeho amagambo meza
Na none aha, ukwiye kwirinda kwivugaho amagambo mabi ndetse no kwibwira nabi mu mutima wawe kuko iyo wivuze neza ukabyimenyereza ni ibintu bigufasha kwikunda kandi bikakuzamuramo imbaraga zo kwibona neza (self-love and positive energy). Ibi rwose byagufasha igihe umunsi umwe igitekerezo kibi kikujemo.
Ushobora gukoresha imvugo nk’igira iti: “Ndumva meze neza kandi nzi ko nza kugira umunsi mwiza,” cyangwa uti “ndagerageza gusakaza ineza mu bandi ariko nanjye ntiyibagiwe.” Nuramuka ushoboye kubigenza utya, bishobora rwose kugufasha kwigobotora ibitekerezo bibi bikuzamo byari bikugarije.
