Buri mubyeyi iteka yifuza ko umwana we yiyumva neza akigirira icyizere kizaba inkingi izamufasha kwikura mu bibazo yahura na byo akuze. Ubushakashatsi butandukanye bwerekanye ko abana barangwa no kugira icyizere bibagirira inyungu yo kutagira uguhangayika ugereranije n’abandi, kandi bagatsinda mu ishuri kandi bikabafasha kugirana imibanire myiza n’abandi.
Umuganga w’indwara zo mu mutwe akaba n’umwanditsi w’igitabo “13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do” [Ibintu 13 Ababyeyi Bakomeye Mu Ntekerezo Badakora] avuga ko yabonye ababyeyi benshi bakora ibintu bitandukanye ngo bubake icyizere abana babo bigirira.
Nyamara nk’uko abivuga, bimwe muri ibyo bintu bishobora guteza ibibazo bishobora gutera abana babo kutiyumva neza bakishidikanyaho bagasa n’abiheba bituma noneho ababyeyi bakora uko bashoboye kose ngo bafashe abana babo kongera ikigero cy’icyizere bigirira.
Muri iyi nkuru dukesha CNBC, turakugezaho amakosa akomeye ababyeyi bakora atuma abana babo bakura batigirira icyizere bikazanabagiraho ingaruka mu buzima bwabo na nyuma bamaze kuba abantu bakuru nk’uko byanditswe n’umwanditsi twavuze haruguru:
1. Kutamenyereza umwana inshingano
Mu gihe utekereza ko guha umwana wawe inshingano cyane cyane imirimo yo mu rugo, nko kwikorera isuku, gusukura ibyombo n’ibindi ari ibintu byamushyira hasi bikamutera ukujagarara k’ubwonko, ahubwo ni ibintu bimufasha gukura akaba umuntu uzi kwiha inshingano no kuzishyira mu bikorwa.
Imirimo yo mu rugo uko yaba mito kose ariko ijyanye n’imyaka ye ituma umwana yiyumvamo icyizere cyo kuba hari icyo yakoze akakirangiza. Uramutse ubwiye umwana wawe ngo akore akazi no gukoropa, cyangwa gukubura, n’utundi turimo tworoheje, menya ko umuha amahirwe yo kwiyumva ko hari icyo ashoboye kandi arabikurana.
Menyereza umwana wawe akiri muto kwisasira uburiri, kwimesera imyambaro y’imbere ‘n’ibindi byoroheje usanga ababyeyi baharira abakozi bo mu ngo nyamara abana bakazakenera kubyikorera ari bakuru.
2. Kubuza abana gukora amakosa
Biragoye kubona umwana wawe atsindwa cyangwa ananirwa gukora ikintu runaka mu buryo bwamusebya. Iyo ibi bibaye, ababyeyi benshi bihutira kubuza abana babo kugwa cyangwa gusitara. Nyamara ariko kubuza abana gukora amakosa bibabuza amahirwe yo kwiga uko umuntu abigenza agahaguruka iyo aguye.
Iyo umwana agize ibyo yibagirwa cyangwa akagira ibyo atsindwa mu kizamini runaka, amakosa akoze ashobora kumubera umwalimu ukomeye w’ubuzima wamurutira abandi. Buri kosa umwana akoze ni amahirwe kuri we rimufasha kubaka ingufu zo mu ntekerezo akanera ngo ubutaha azakore neza kurusha ubushize.
Kwemerera umwana kugira amatsiko no kugira icyo ayakoraho biramufasha kuko iyo akosheje ari bwo yiga akamenya kurusha gutuma abaho adatekereza ngo agire ubumenyi yiyungura cyane cyane biciye mu makosa akora mu buvumbuzi bwe ku giti cye.
3. Kubarinda amarangamutima yabo
Ntibyoroshye ndetse si benshi babibasha kuba washimagiza umwana wawe igihe ababaye cyangwa kumuturisha igihe arakaye. Nyamara uko twitwara ku marangamutima y’abana bacu bigira ingaruka ku mikurire n’iterambere ry’ubwenge bwe mu marangamutima no kwigirira icyizere.
Jya ufasha abana bawe kumenya ikizamura amarangamutima yabo unabigishe kumenya uko bayategeka. Bahe umwanya ubafasha gusobanura uko biyumva ku buryo bizajya biborohera kumenya uko bitwara muri ayo marangamutima mu buryo bukwiriye nibisanga bayagize bityo ntibitume abangamira abo bazabana na bo mu muryango mugari mu myaka yabo y’ubukire.
4. Kurinda umwana ugakabya
Yego kuba warinda umwana wawe ukamushyira mu buryo bumurinda ibintu runaka bizakurinda guhangayika cyane. Nyamara kubahozaho ijisho ukabafungirana ubabuza gusohoka na rimwe hari ubwo bibabuza kwinyagambura bikababuza kugira agatambwe batera.
Nk’umubyeyi ukwiye kwibona nk’umuyobozi n’umujyanama w’umwana wawe ntube nk’uwo bamucungishije. Iteka jya wemerera abana bawe gushaka inararibonye ry’ubuzima, nubwo byaba ari ibintu byabatera ubwoba. Aha uzabaha amahirwe yo kunguka icyizere cyo guhangana na buri kintu kizaza kigamije kubashyira hasi mu rugendo rw’ubuzima bwabo.
5. Kwibwira ko umwana wawe yaba ntamakembwa
Kuba wakwitega byinshi kandi bikomeye ku mwana wawe ni byiza nyamara kumwitagaho ibyiza bikabije byo bishobora kugira ingaruka.Iyo umwana abona ko umwitezeho ibirenze bikabije, ashobora kutazirirwa yirushya atinyuka kugira icyo agerageza gukora kuko yumva nk’aho atabigeraho.
Ahubwo icyo wagakoze ukwiriye kumwitegaho ibintu nk’iby’igihe kirekire noneho ukamufasha kubigeraho buhoro buhoro. Urugero, kuziga kaminuza ni intego y’igihe kirekire, noneho ukamufasha kurema intego z’igihe gito nko gutsinda no kugira amanota meza, gukora imikoro yo mu rugo asabwa, gusoma ibitabo n’ibindi nk’ibyo.
