Nabonye mu bintu bitera ibibazo cyane mu ngo yaba ku bagabo, cyangwa ku badamu, ari ugushaka kubaka urugo nk’abandi bantu. Ni byiza kugira urugo rw’ikitegererezo (Model), ariko hari ibintu byinshi umuntu agomba gutekerezaho mbere yo kwifuza ko mugenzi we amera nka runaka, cyangwa urugo rwe rube nk’urwa kanaka, kuko hari byinshi bibatandukanya.
Dore bimwe muri byo nkuko byatanzwe na K Teddy abinyujije kuri Agasaro Magazine:
Ihame ry’uko umuntu ari unique : Nta muntu n’umwe ushobora kubona undi muntu basa ijana kw’ijana. Abahanga mu bumenyi bw’abantu (Psychologie) bagerageje gushyira abantu mu byiciro bitandukanye (Aba sanguins, aba Colériques, aba Melancoliques, n’abaflegmatiques… ), bareba uko abantu bafite ibyo bahuje babashyira hamwe, ariko bakemeza ko n’abari mu itsinda rimwe baba badahuje byose. Buri wese aba afite ibyo yihariye.
Urugero : Ushobora kuba ufite umugore/gabo udasabana cyane kubera ko ari ko ateye, abashyitsi baza ntashyuhe cyane, mwasura abandi wenda ugasanga undi mugabo/gore agira urugwiro, akazimanira abashyitsi akabaganiriza ukabona urugo rwabo nta rungu ririmo. Iyo rero udasobanukiwe ngo umenye ko umugabo/gore wawe ateye mu buryo butandukanye n’ubw’uwo wundi, ushobora kumara imyaka n’imyaka umuhatira guhinduka cyangwa waraheranywe n’agahinda uzi ko ufite umugabo udakunda abantu kandi mu by’ukuri ntabwo abanga ahubwo niko ateye.
Background cyangwa se amateka ya bene urugo n’ibyo bakuriyemo. Iki kikaba gifite imbaraga cyane mu Rwanda kubera amateka yacu. Mu by’ukuri iyi background ivuze byinshi :
Umuryango umuntu yakuriyemo : Iyo witegereje uko umuntu yubatse urugo, akenshi usanga bifitanye isano rya bugufi n’umuryango akomokamo, hari igihe aba awigana kuko yawukundaga cyangwa akaba yarakuyemo ibikomere byinshi kubera ibibazo byariyo ni uko agahora yikanga ko agiye kubaka nk’iwabo. Bigatuma mu buzima bwe bwose aba ahangayitse, afite ubwoba.
Umuco umuntu yakuriyemo : Ibi biroroshye kubisobanura mu Rwanda, ingo z’abantu bavuye muri Congo usanga zitandukanye n’iz’abavuye mu Burundi, cyangwa ahandi . Ababaye I Burayi bo bikaba bitandukanye cyane aho umugabo yajya mu gikoni agateka mu gihe ahandi babibona nk’ubuganzwe. Hari ibindi nk’amashuli, idini umuntu yarerewemo n’ibindi.
Urwego rw’ubukungu urugo rugezeho (Classe sociale), ubukire cyangwa se ubukene nabyo biri mu bintu bigira uruhare mu buryo urugo rubayeho. Ibi birazwi ko twese tutangana mu bukire. Hari ibindi twavuga nk’imiterere y’akazi umugabo/gore akora, n’ibindi.
Ibi bintu tuvuze rero, byaguha neza ishusho y’uko nta rugo rwasa n’urundi ! Kuko Icya mbere umugabo, umugore n’abana bo muri urwo rugo ntabandi basa, cyane cyane ndavuga imiterere (Caractère), niba hari n’abo basa ntibahuje background cyangwa uburere, niba ibyo byose bisa ntibahuje ubukire cyangwa ubukene.
Icyo wakora
Niba rero uri umudamu, ukaba ufite umuryango ukubera urugero, ni byiza rwose ko wabigiraho ariko ntibishoboka ko urugo rwawe ruba photocopie y’urwo rundi. Banza wibaze ibibazo bike nkibi :
Ese umugabo wanjye n’uriya bateye kimwe ? Utazatoteza umugabo wawe ushaka guhindura uko Imana yamuremye
Ese umuryango umugabo wanjye yakuriyemo iteye ite ? Iy’uriya se yo iteye ite ?
Ese uburyo babayeho aho ntibiterwa n’uko bifashije kuturusha ?
Ese njyewe n’uriya mugore twakira ibintu kimwe ?
Akazi se dukora ni kamwe ?
Gutinda wibaza kuri ibi bibazo byagufasha kumva neza ko icyiza ari ugushakisha uko mwabaho mu rugo rwanyu, mukigira ku bandi ibyiza ariko mukabijyanisha n’imiterere y’urugo rwanyu (Adaptation). Ntibiguce intege ariko nakubwira ko hari n’ibizananirana ariko kuko uzi impamvu byanze ntibikubuze umunezero wawe.
Iyo ufite umujyanama, mufataniriza hamwe kureba imiterere yawe, n’iy’umugabo wawe mukabona guha icyerekezo urugo rwanyu.
Umufaransa yaravuze ngo « Le plat du voisin est toujours le meilleur » ni’ukuvuga ko iyo urebye ibitari ibyawe ubona ari byiza, ariko witonde kuko nawe areba iwawe agasanga ariho heza !!!
Reka turekere ahangaha, n’ubwo twakoresheje ingero ziciriritse (Simple), ariko muzi neza ko kugereranya ingo itera ibibazo bikomeye ! Umugabo aganira n’undi mu kabari buri wese avuga umugore we, bombi bataha buri wese agatangira gutoteza mugenzi we ati kuki utameze gutya, cyangwa gutya ? Ikindi n’uko ibi biri no mu bikurura guca inyuma kw’abashakanye.
Icyo nkwifuriza wowe usomye iyi nyandiko, ni uko urugo rwawe rutatwikwa no kwigana iz’abandi kabone n’iyo zaba ari nziza zite. Uzigireho ariko uri menge.
K Teddy
