Nyir’amaso yerekwa bike ibindi akibonera. Hari itandukaniro mu myitwarire y’umusore/umugabo igihe agukunda n’igihe yateshutse inzira y’urukundo mugendanamo. Iyo umugabo atagikunda umugore cyangwa umukobwa bahoze bakundana, arabigaragaza ndetse hari byinshi bihinduka kuri we.
Abyerekana akoresheje ibice by’umubiri we, imyitwarire ndetse n’uburyo afata umwari bakundana cyangwa umugore we ku bashakanye.
Muri iyi nkuru dukesha urubuga rwa interineti rwa El Crema, turabagezaho bimwe mu bimenyetso byakwereka ko umusore wari warihebeye atakikwiyumvamo namba.
Nusanga iyi nshuti yawe iri kurangwa n’iyi myitwarire, ubishaka unabishoboye, watangira gutekereza ibyo koga mpagazi kuko amazi aba atakiri ya yandi, wanashaka ukabaza uko ibiciro by’i Nyagasambu biteye kuko isoko uri guhahiramo ni indyankurye.
1. AREKERA AHO KUKUGANIRIZA NKUKO BYAHOZE
Iyo umusore atagikunda umukobwa, aba abona nta mpamvu yo kuganira na we, kuvugana na we ahubwo aba abibona nk’umuzigo kuri we. Avuga make [ngo nk’abagabo!!!], ndetse ntabwire uwo bakundana uko yiyumva, amarangamutima ye ndetse n’uko ubuzima bwe buhagaze, yewe ntaba anashaka kumva umukobwa w’inshuti ye nka mbere. Iyo kuganira ‘communication’ bigabanutse ikagera kuri iki kigero, biba ari ikimenyetso ko ashobora kuba atakiri mu rukundo nk’uko byahoze, uba ukwiye gufata ingamba zitagize uwo zibangamira hagati yanyu mwembi.
2. AHAGARIKA GUKORA IBYO YAKORAGA NGO WISHIME
Iyo umusore akunda umukobwa, akora ibintu byose bishimisha uwo mukobwa, agerageza kwigarurira umutima we akora ibintu bituma uwo mukobwa akunzwe kugira ngo na we amukunde kurushaho. Icyakora, iyo aretse gukunda uwo mukobwa, ibi byose biribagirana, ndetse n’aho yaciye urwango rukahaca.
3. NTA GIHE ABA AKIKUBONERA
Iyo umusore atagikunda umukobwa, areka kumuha umwanya we, aba yumva yakwimarira igihe cye ari kumwe n’inshuti ze mu kabari cyangwa mu mupira cyangwa se akikorera ibindi bintu kurusha uko yumva yaba ari kumwe n’uwo yihebeye.
Atangira kugira gahunda ‘zihutirwa’ zidashira, akazi kakamubana kenshi, n’igihe byitwa ko agasoje, agataka umunaniro ukabije nk’aho yakoze kurusha indogobe. Bya bihe mwamaranaga mukora utuntu duto duto dushimishije ndetse na bya bihe bidasanzwe mwagiranaga bigenda nka nyombeli iyo umusore mwakundanaga atakigufitiye umugambi w’urukundo.
4. AVOMA HAFI NK’IBIFURA
Umusore utagikunda umukobwa uzasanga asigaye avoma hafi cyane nk’aho ‘watera ukageza ibuye ukoresheje imoso’, akarakazwa vuba kandi n’akantu kose n’aho kaba gato umukobwa bakundana akoze kandi bikaba bigoye ko acururuka vuba ngo abe yanatanga imbabazi igihe umukunzi we aciye bugufi azimusaba ngo aramire umubano wabo bombi.
Impamvu itera ibi ni ukubura k’urukundo kuko mu busanzwe urukundo rurababarira kandi rugira impuhwe, rero umugabo cyangwa umusore uri mu rukundo yakabaye ababarira umukunzi we mu buryo bworoshye kandi bwihuse uretse guca ibiti n’amabuye no kurakara umuranduranzuzi kubera akantu gato kadafatika nk’aho we aba adakosa. Umuhungu utakigukunda, atakaza kamere y’impuhwe yahoranye kuri wowe.
Iyo ya kamere y’impuhwe n’urukundo mvuze haruguru ku wo bakundana igabanutse, ashobora kujya arakara kubera akantu gato ubundi katakamuteye kurakara cyangwa yafataga nk’ibisanzwe mbere. Aha, uzamwumva avugira hejuru akankamira umukunzi we yakambije impanga ku tuntu duto cyangwa nta n’impamvu ifatika ibimuteye.
5. AGERAGEZA KUVANA UMUKOBWA BAKUNDANAGA MU BUZIMA BWE
Umusore wakunze umukobwa yakabaye amwinjiza mu buzima bwe, mbese ubuzima bwe bukaba nk’igitabo kibumbuye ku wo bakundana, ntagire icyo amuhisha n’aho yaba amabanga akomeye. Icyakora, ibi si ko bimera ku musore utagikunda uwo bahoze bacuditse mu rukundo. Azabikora gake gake amuvane mu buzima bwe kugeza aho atakimwumva ndetse adashobora kumushaka ngo amubone.
6. IBIKORWA BISHIMISHA IMIBIRI NTABA ACYISHIMIRA KUBIKORA
Aha, birumvikana ko umugabo anyurwa ndetse agashimishwa n’ibikorwa nshimishamubiri akorana n’uwo bunze ubumwe mu rukundo. Iyo umugabo agukunda, agatima ke gahora karehareha iyo akubonye, akumvise cyangwa agutekereje. Nyamara iyo aretse kugukunda, areka kugusoma, kuguhobera akakugwamo imitima ikumvana, kugushishira (caresse); ibi byose bigenda burundu, yanabikora, akabikora asa n’uwikiza.
7. NTABA AGISHAKA KUBA MU BUZIMA BWAWE
Iyo umusore atakigufitiye agatima, ntaba yumva yifuza kumva amakuru ava mu bwatsi bwawe n’ab’iwanyu. Ntaba ashaka kuba ahari mu byishimo byawe ngo mubisangire ndetse n’iyo uri mu manzaganya, arakuzibukira ngo ubabare wenyine, bya bindi byo kukuba hafi ngo yifatanye nawe mu kababaro ntaba akibikozwa. Uku kandi aba atifuza kuba mu byawe ni na ko aba atifuza ko uba mu bye nkuko twabibonye mu ngingo ya gatanu.
8. AREKA KUKUBWIRA NO KUKWEREKA KO AGUKUNDA
Iyo umusore ahagaritse kugukunda, ijambo ‘Ndagukunda’ rigendana n’urwo yagukundaga mbere. Mu gihe byamuteraga ishema guhora akubwira asa n’ususumira yasheshe urumeza ati ‘Ndagukunda, I love you, Je t’aime., Te amo…’, ntaba akibasha kubihingutsa, biramugora rwose akajya abura imbaraga zo kukwereka ko yakwihebeye. Isoko y’imitoma n’amagambo asize umunyu yakubwiraga ati ‘Udahari sinabaho, uri ubuzima bwanjye, ntagufite ntacyo naba mfite kuko uri byose’, irakama ukaba wakwibwira ko baguhinduriye cyangwa bagutuburiye wa mugani wa ba bandi.
9. AREKA KUKWITAHO NO KUGUHA ‘CARE’
Abakobwa bose b’ino aha…na ko si ino mu Rwanda gusa; ni ku isi yose ‘ubariyemo n’i Burundi’ bakunda ‘care’, bakunda umusore ubatetesha ugaragaza ko ahangayikishijwe n’ibyishimo byabo akandi agaharanira kubafata nk’uko umwamikazi yitabwaho, mbese ubakunda rwinshi nka rumwe Rwabugili yakunze Kanjogera.
Umukobwa wese yifuza ko umubyutsa ukamusanga iwabo ukamujyana muri sports cyangwa gusenga. Mu gihe muri mu muhanda wenda imishumi y’inketo ze ikihambura, ukamubwira uti “Bae, hagarara gatoya” maze ugaca bugufi [byaba ngombwa ukanapfukama] maze ukamufungira imishumi y’inkweto. Umwali wese nubwo ashobora kutabikubwira ariko aba yifuza ko mu gihe nk’iki imvura yakamejeje mu mujyi no mu cyaro niba mugeze ahantu amazi ari menshi mu muhanda ku buryo bisaba abanyamaguru kuvogera, wowe umufata ukamuterura maze ukavogera ayo mazi umuteruye. Uzabigerageze, uzaba umbwira!!! Musore, nawe ubaye uri inkumi, ibi byagukora ku mutima.
Mukobwa rero, iyo nta kantu nk’aka ko kuguha ‘care’ kakiranga umusore mukundana, jya umenya ko hari abandi ashobora kuba aziha cayangwa nyine atakikubona nk’uwo mwakomezanya imishinga.
Umusore nareka kugukunda umutima we awerekeje ahandi hatari mu wawe, ibi ni bimwe mu bimenyetso bizabikumenyesha, azaba yimereye nk’igicucucucu cy’umuntu mwigeze kugashishaho mu rukundo. Icyiza ni uko watekereza kabiri.
