Hari i saa saba n’iminota 45 mu gicuku gishyira ku wa kane mu kwezi kwa Kamena. Ndibuka neza mbyuka maze ngasasa. Numvaga ibisa n’imyaga bimouha iruhande. Mu mutwe numvaga nta cyerekezo na gito ntazi aho ngana. Sinumvaga neza ibyambagaho. Mbere ya byose, natekerezaga ko ahari nari nkangutse maze kurota inzozi z’umuntu wahuye n’umutingito uva ku iruka ry’ikirunga.
Kimwe nari nzi cyo ni uko nabyutse mfite ubwoba, ariko wumve ngo nari mfite ubwoba bwinshi. Hanyuma rero hadaciye akanya, natangiye kumva induru z’abataka, hanyuma hirya numva inzogera zirira nk’izo mu nyubako ihiye ariko nyine ubuduha bwinshi. Aho byarumvikanaga neza ko hari ikintu kibi cyane cyari cyabaye.
Narebye hanze y’icyuma nararagamo ncishije amaso mu idirishya ngo ndebe mu by’ukuri icyarimo kiba gusa mu buryo budasanzwe buri kintu nabonaga kiri mu mwijima ariko n’urumuri rushashagirana nk’inyenyeri zo mu ruturuturu.
Nkimara kugenzura ko buri wese mu bagize umuryango yari amahoro, narambaye maze nsohoka hanze ngo ndebe menye neza icyari cyabaye mu by’ukuri.
Ngikandagira hanze, nabonye umuturanyi wanjye wari uhagaze hirya mu mfuruka yambaye ikanzu ye yo mu bwogero. Yari ahagaze hamwe atanyeganyega ariko umunwa n’amaso ye bifunguye nk’aho yari abonye umuzimu. Namubajije ikibaye maze nta jambo avuze, antungira urutoki ku nyubako yari hakurya y’umuhanda.
Hari ku muturirwa wa Champlain Towers uherereye i Surfside ho muri leta ya Florida aho kimwe cya kabiri cy’iyi nyubako cyari cyisenuye ku magorofa yari munsi yacyo aha hakaba hari haguye amagorofa 12 yose bigaragara ko yari akiri hejuru y’abantu muri ako kanya.
Nisanze mpagararanye na we nguye mu kantu umunwa wanjye ufunguye mu gihe umutima wanjye wo numvise urohama usubira mu ndiba ya roho yanjye.
Nari mbizi ko aha ubuzima burenga amagana buri hatakarire. Numvaga ko ibintu byari bigiye kuba bibi, ndetse bibi cyane.
Nubwo nta muntu n’umwe nari nzi mu bo inyubako yari yaguyeho, sinzigera na rimwe nibagirwa ko najyaga mbabona bari ku mabaraza yabo bamwe basoma ka cyayi abandi bari ku matelefone yabo.
Nta kabuza ko byabaga biteye amabengeza guhagarara hanze hejuru kuri iyo nyubako yari yitegeye neza inyanja maze ukitegereza inyanja yakira urumuri rw’ukwezi. Ikibabaje noneho kwari ukubona ukuntu aho hantu hari habaye amatongo y’ibisigazwa by’inyubako byari byarindimukiye mu nyanja.
Mu minsi yakurikiyeho, amatsinda y’abatabazi n’abashaka yavuye ku isi yose yaraje ajagajaga iyi site yari yuzuye imitwe y’abantu, yifashishije indege nto za drone n’imbwa zishakisha nngo harebwe niba hari uwari agihumeka.
Yemwe na Perezida wa Leta Zunze Ubumwe za Amerikayaraje maze atanga ubutumwa bw’ihumure ku bagize imiryango yari yaburiye abayo muri iri sanganya ndetse no gutera ingabo mu bitugu abari batabaye bari mu gikorwa cyo kurokora abari baguweho n’ibikuta by’inyubakwa.
Nyuma y’aho rero, na nyuma y’izi mbaraga zari zifashishijwe zingana zitya, igiteye agahinda cyane ni uko nta muntu n’umwe warokowe akiri muzima. Ntabwo akababaro kanjye gashobora kungana n’ak’abo mu miryango yaburiyemo ababo, nyamara uburibwe bw’umutima nakuye aha buracyanyinguyemo, mu gihe ngikomeje kwiyumvamo umuhangayiko n’agahinda katewe n’iri shyano ryagwiriye amaso yanjye.
Mu bunararibonye bwanjye, ubu namenye ko atari ngombwa gusa ikintu giteye ubwoba nk’impanuka cyaba kuri wowe ubwawe ngo kibone kugutera ihungabana. Hari ubwo bikubaho gusa bitewe n’uko wabibonye n’amaso yawe.
Ubundi ihungabana ni Iki? Ni gute rikugiraho ingaruka kandi ni gute wahangana na ryo?
Abahanga bavuga ko ihungabana ryagereranywa n’imihindukire mu myifatire n’imigirire, mu mico no mu bitekerezo by’umuntu wagwiriwe n’ishyano rimutunguye. Bigatuma abura uko yabyifatamo.
Nk’uko umuntu uwawe wakundaga cyangwa ukaba uri umucuruzi ucururiza ku nguzanyo ya banki ukisanga mu gihombo aho utabonye n’ay’imisoro, mu buzima twese ntitubura aho duhurira n’icyadutera ihungabana.
Ku ruhande rw’ibintu byiza ubuzima buduha, wavuga ko ihungabana ari kimwe mu bigize ubunararibonye bw’ubuzima bw’ikiremwamutu.
Imibare igaragaza ko ku kigereranyo nibura abantu bakuze bagera kuri 70% baba barahuye nibura na kimwe mu bintu bitera ihungabana mu gihe cy’ubuzima bwabo.
Ihungabana ubwaryo rishobora guterwa n’uruhurirane rw’ibintu bibaho bigatera ihungabana nk’ibikorwa bibabaza amarangamutima. ibikorwa by’ihohotera, Ibiza kamera ndetse n’impanuka zikomeye zitwara ubuzima bwa benshi. Hamwe no kubabara no kugira agahinda, hari ubwoko bubiri bw’ihungabana:
• Ubwoko bwa mbere busobanurwa nk’ikintu kiba kibaye ku muntu rimwe nk’ihungabana ritewe n’impanuka y’imodoka cyangwa ikiza kamere nk’umutingito w’isi.
• Ubwoko bwa kabiri bw’ihungabana busobanurwa nk’ikintu kiguhangabanya ariko kimara igihe kirekire kandi cyisubiramo, urugero ni nk’ihohoterwa rihoraho ribabaza amarangamutima, irishingiye ku gitsina cyangwa kwirirwa ubwirwa ko uri mubi muri sosiyeti ubamo mu gihe kirekire.
Kimwe n’ibikomere byinshi by’umubiri, ihungabana ry’amarangamutima risiga inkovu nubwo hari ubwo zitagaragarira amaso. Ibimenyetso by’ihungabana ry’amarangamutima bishobora kuba ibyo mu marangamutima cyangwa inyuma ku mubiri.
Ibimenyetso bizwi cyane by’ihungabana ry’amarangamutima harimo nko kumva ucitse intege, kumva uhangayitse, kwishinja icyaha, kumva ubabaye ufite agahinda, kumva wacanganyikiwe ushidikanya utazi icyo wakora, gutakaza icyizere no kumva ufite isoni.
Ni mu gihe ibimenyetso by’ihungabana bikora ku mubiri hazamo nk’umunaniro, kutabasha kwita no kwibanda ku cyo ukora (concentration), kubura ubushake bwo kurya no kutaryoherwa, gukomeza ibintu bidakomeye wumvise, kubura ibitotsi, kuryamira cyane ndetse n’umuvuduko ukabije w’amaraso.
Nubwo abantu benshi benshi bahura n’ibintu cyangwa ibihe bibahungabanya si ngombwa ko buri wese uhuye na byo ahungabanywa na byo.
Nyamara, birashoboka ko bumwe mu burwayi buzwi cyane buva ku ihungabana ari ubuzwi nka Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) ifatwa nk’indwara iterwa n’ihungabana umuntu yagize.
Abantu benshi barwaye PTSD uzabasanga bagorwa no kugira umubano uhamye n’abandi kandi bakirinda cyane ikintu cyose cyabibutsa ibihe cyangwa ibintu byabateye guhungabana.
Bimwe mu bimenyetso bya PTSD harimo kurakara vuba bijyana no kurakazwa n’utuntu twitwa duto, kugira amakenga akabije, kuvuga cyane ku kibaye urugero niba umuntu adakoze ibyo washakaga ukamwiyama ukageza isaha yose, gushikagurika igihe asinziye ndetse n’ibikorwa byo kwigirira nabi nko kwitema no kwikomeretsa, gukoresha ibiyobyabwenge no kwiyahura.
Sinakugira inama y’icyo wakora ngo wirinde kandi witegura ikintu cyangutera ihungabana, ahubwo kuko byinshi biza bitateguje kandi bikaba bitapfa kubura kubaho mu buzima tubamo, aha nakumenera ry’ibikoresho wakwifashisha uhangana n’ihungabana ukaryigobotora.
Hano hari uburyo 5 wakoresha ugahangana kandi ugatsinda umujagararo w’ubwonko (stress) uterwa n’ibihe cyangwa ibintu bitera ihungabana:
1.Gufunguka ukaganirira abandi ukavuga akakuri ku mutima
Ku giti cyanjye njye, mbonera ihumure mu kwirekura maze nkabwira abandi mbasangiza ibibi bishengura umutima byambayeho. Buriya, nibura uko mbyumva, kwandika iyi nkuru ni bumwe mu buryo bwo kugaragaza ibyiyumvo byanjye mu buryo bwubaka.
Mu buryo butangaje ariko, ndacyagorwa no kuvuga isanganya ryambayeho rikambera mu maso. Icyakora, nshobora kuryandikaho numva nibura ngabanyirijwe umutwaro ngira iyo mbivuga.
Nizera nkomeje cyane ko kwandika byagiye bimfasha kurebera isi mu ruhande rwiza kandi bunyubaka. Kandi nizera na none ko kwandika (journaling) uko wiyumva byakugirira akamaro cyangwa undi uwo ari we wese waba yarahuye n’ikintu kimuhungabanya.
Nyamara ariko na none, niba wiba wisanze nta mwanya cyangwa udashobora kwihanganira kwandika ikintu gihungabanya cyakubayeho, wagerageza gushaka uko ukoresha ikiganza cyawe nko mu buryo bw’ubugeni no gushushanya kuko burya rimwe na rimwe ifoto ishobora kuvuga amagambo arenze igihumbi.
Kwirekura ukaganirira abandi ibyakubayeho ni intambwe ikomeye igifasha kudaheranwa n’agahinda uterwa n’icyaguhungabanije.
2. Ubujyanama (Counseling)
Nubwo uburibwe nagize mu marangamutima buvuye ku cyampungabanije hari ubwo butashira cyangwa ngo bugende burundu, iruhande rwo kwirekure mvuga akandi ku mutima, hari indi nama ikomeye ngira umuntu ufite ibimenyetso by’ihungabana. Iyo na yo nta yindi ni ugushaka ub ujyanama (counseling).
Umuganga wabyigiye by’umwuga cyangwa uwahuguriwe ubujyanama n’ubuvuzi bw’indwara zo mu mutwe (therapist) wita cyane ku bahuye n’ihungabana yagombye kuba afite ubushobozi bwo gutega amatwi agashungura ibyiyumvo byawe yitonze mu buryo bugenza gake amarangamutima yawe.
Ubujyanama bufite ububasha bwo kugufasha kubona inzira yo gusohoka mu ishyamba ry’inzitane rikuba mu ntekerezo uramutse uhuye n’ubikora bya kinyamwuga akakuyoborana ineza ku murongo nyawo.
Uburyo akoresha amaso akurebana impuhwe bigaragara ko aguteze amatwi bizwi nka EMDR ni uburyo buzwi nk’inzira ikomeye kandi igera ku musaruro ifasha abarwayi bahuye n’ihungabana.
EMDR irema mu bwonko inzira zisohora amashusho mabi, ibitekerezo, ibyiyumvo ibi biguma mu bwonko nyuma yo guhungabana kandi bitongereye ibikomere uwahungabanye.
3. Gutekereza utuje ushyize intekerezo hamwe (Meditation)
Hari ubwo uhura n’ibiguhangabanya bisa n’aho bikwiba cyangwa bigutwara ubutungane bwawe ku buryo wumva ubupfura bwawe bwarakozweho utakiri umuntu mwiza.
Gusa icyakubaho cyose uko cyaba kimeze, ugomba kumenya ko ukiri umuyobozi wa roho yawe, ntekereza ko ari yo rembo ry’amarangamutima yawe.
Mediation ishobora kugufasha kwisubiramo ukagera mu ndiba y’umutima wawe maze ukumva igize icyiyumvo cy’amahoro y’imbere mu mutima, ikintu giha roho yawe igisa n’intungamubiri zikomeza amarangamutima zikanayarinda imbaraga mbi ziyatera ziva hanze (negative energy).
Meditation nubwo ari umwe mu miti idatangwa n’abaganga izwi nk’umuti ukomeye ugabanya ubukana bw’indwara za PTSD.
Nujya gutangira meditation rero, jya ubanza ushyire kure cyangwa ufunge ibikoresho byawe by’ikoranabuhanga n’ibindi bintu wasabwaga kuba witaho ku bw’abandi bantu bari mu buzima bwawe maze ukitegura gufata akanya gahagije kandi gakenerwa cyane ko kwita ku magara yawe yo mu mutwe, nta kindi kiguzi utanze usibye iminiota make wigimwa ku guhe cyawe.
Banza ushake ahantu heza, hatekanye kandi hatari andi majwi yose aho mu rugo, wenda nko ku buriri bwawe mu cyumba uraramo hafi y’idirishya. Kuramo inkweto zawe, maze wicare gahoro gahoro, sobanya amaguru yawe hanyuma urambike amaboko yawe ku matako yawe ibiganza byawe byerekeye ijuru.
Humeka neza winjiza umwuka unawusohora maze use n’ucecekesha intekerezo zawe mu gihe usa n’uhobera imbaraga zawe zikiza ziva mu mutuzo n’amahoro bigukikije ubwo. Uhawe ikaze kandi wemerewe kumara igihe cyose washaka upfa kuba uzi ko bitagukereza akazi.
4.Gukora imyitozo ngororangingo na siporo
Imyitozo ngororamubiri cyangwa siporo ihoraho ishobora kugabanya umujagararo w’ubwonko (stress) uva ku ihungabana kuko izamura imisemburo ya endorphins imvubura zo mu bwonko zigenzura uko wiyumva (mood).
Ikindi kandi imyitozo nk’iyo gusimbuka, guterura ibiremereye, gukora pompaje n’imwe ikomeza inda izwi nka cardiovascular exercise ifasha mu itembera ry’amaraso risanzwe rigira uruhare rukomeye mu gutuma amaraso atemba neza mu mubiri ndetse no kujyana umwuka mwiza duhumeka (oxygen) mu ngingo zigize imibiri yacu. Ibi bituma umubiri ugumana amagara mazima kandi intekerezo n’ubwonko bikaguma bityaye ku buryo ugenzura ibyiyumvo mu mucyo nta gicu kibibuditseho.
Icya nyuma ni uko iyo ukoze siporo ituma ugira ibiro bijyanye n’indeshyo yawe ukagabanya ibinure ugakomeza umubiri bituma wongera icyizere wigirira (self-esteem) kandi no kimwe mu bizwi nk’urukingo ruhangana n’ibimenyetso by’ihungabana.
5. Ihuze ubane n’abandi (connection)
Kwitarura unitandukanya n’abandi ushaka ko hatagira ugusanga (avoidance) ni kimwe mu bimenyetso bizwi cyane by’ihungabana. Kenshi, abantu bagiye bahuira cyangwa baba mu bihe bibahungabanya busanga badashaka kujya aho abandi bari ndetse badashaka kuganira na bo nk’uburyo bwo kwirinda ko bakwiyongerera ihungabana.
Nyamara ahiubwo, abantu ni ibiremwa byaremewe kubana no gusabana n’ibindi (social creatures). Buriya iyo twifunze twihunza abandi, tuba mu buryo tutagambiriye twibuza amahirwe yo kubaho ubuzima mu mwuzuro wabwo kandi twibuza ubuzima bwatanga umusaruro.
Abantu bagize ibikomere bihungabanya amarangamutima, imibiri cyangwa bakorewe ihohoterwa rishingiye ku gitsina mu bwana bwabo, kenshi birabagora kwizera abandi bituma mu gihe bakuze usanga aria bantu bakunda kwibana. Ku bw’iyo mpamvu, ndakugira inama nkomeje umuntu wese waba yarahuye n’ihungabana ryo mu buryo ubwo ari bwo bwose rimwe mu buzima bwabo ko yashaka itsinda ry’abantu (support group) bandi baba barigeze guhura n’ikibazo kimuhungabanya.
Buriya rimwe mu mabanga akomeye yo gutsinda ihungabana ukaryigobotora, hari imbaraga ziva mu mubare munini w’abantu.
MURI MAKE: Uko byagenda kose ihungabana mu buzima nta ho twarihungira nk’abantu kuko ni kimwe mu bigize ubuzima bwa muntu. Biba akarusho noneho mu muryango mugari nk’uw’Abanyarwanda wagize ikibazo gikomeye nka Jenoside yakorewe Abatutsi twibuka ku nshuro ya 19.
Uko byagenda kose rimwe cyangwa rinarenze mu buzima, ushobora kuzahura nibura n’igihe cyangwa ikintu cyagutera ihungabana. Mu magambo make, niba uzi umuntu wahuye n’ihungabana, ruriye abandi rutagusize.
Numara igihe usigaje mu buzima ugerageza kurwanya ibihe byagutera ihungabana,bishobora kurangira bikubujije ibindi bihe byiza kandi byinshi wakagize mu buzima.
Inkuru nziza ni uko ushobora gukira haba ibikomere byo mu marangamutima ndetse n’iby’umubiri watewe n’ihungabana gusa nyine bizagusaba kugira imihate y’icyo wakora kimwe cyangwa bibiri mu byo nanditse muri iyi nkuru.
Iyi nkuru dukesha uribuga lifehack yanditswe na bwana Evan Jarschauer, Umuvuzi wabigize umwuga w’indwara zo mu mutwe akaba kandi n’umujyanama ubifitiye ibyangombwa wo muri Leta zunze ubumwe za Amerika.
Iradukunda Fidele Samson
