Ibintu 10 Bibabaza Kurusha Ibindi mu Buzima n’Uko Wahangana na Byo

Ibintu bizahaza umuntu mbese bigu-‘stressa’ koko ukaba wanasara- bimwe twese dutinya ko benshi muri bizatubaho nta kabuza rimwe mu buzima- bishobora gutuma isi yacu isa ahubwo nk’ukuzimu bigahungabanya cyane uko dusanzwe duteye ndetse n’uko tubona isi iteka ryose.

Ibi bintu na none ariko bishobora kurangira bidukomeje kurusha uko twahoze turamutse dushoboye kwiga uko twabana na byo n’uko tubifata bitandukanye gato n’ibisanzwe. Reka mbigusobanurire nifashishije inkuru ya lifehack yanditswe mu cyongereza igahabwa umutwe uvuga ngo “Top 10 Stressors in Life (And How to Cope with Them).

Nk’uko tubizi, stress cyangwa agahinda kakujagaraza ubwonko irasanzwe ku buzima bwa muntu- kikaba igice cy’ubuzima bw’umuntu benshi bifuza gukura mu buzima bwabo.

Abantu bamwe bateye ku buryo ‘stress’ cyangwa agahinda kabababaza kurusha abandi, ndetse ibagiraho ingaruka bitandukanye bitewe n’uburyo baremwe, imiterere ndangamuntu bavukanye, ndetse n’uburyo twigishijwe (mu buryo buziguye n’ubutaziguye) uko tubigenza iyo tugeze mu bihe bidukomereye.

Mu buryo bwa kamere karemano, hari abantu bihagararaho ntibapfe kugamburuzwa mu gihe abandi bo ibitekerezo byabo bitwarwa kandi mu buryo bugaragara bakorwa mu mutwe cyane na ‘stress’.

Inkuru nziza ni uko nubwo ntacyo twakora ngo dusubize inyuma akababaro katugeraho kakadukomereza umutima mu buryo kamere, hari ubushakashatsi bwinshi bwerekanye ko hari intambwe twatera mu kongera ubushobozi bwacu bwo kudaheranwa mu gihe cy’akababaro (resilience).

Imwe muri izo ntambwe cyangwa uburyo twakoresha izwi nka “stress inoculation” twagenekereza mu Kinyarwanda nk’ “Urukingo rw’Akababaro.”

Ibintu 10 Bibabaza Kurusha Ibindi mu Buzima

Gusa aha mbere yo kuganira ku buryo twakongera ubudaheranwa bwacu ndetse tukamenya kubana n’ibitera umubabaro, umujagararo w’ubwonko (stressors) abantu bahura na byo, dukwiye kubanza ibyo ari byo. Hasi aha hari urutonde rw’ibintu icumi bibabaza kurusha ibindi mu buzima(top 10).

1.Urupfu rw’uwo ukunda

Ku isi yose, ubanza gupfusha ari cyo gihe kigora umuntu gucamo kurusha ibindi. Iyo hari umuntu wa hafi yacu upfuye, twumva uruhumbirajana rw’amarangamutima ndetse tukumva dukomerewe no kwibona cyangwa kubona umwanya wacu mu isi uwo muntu atayiriho.

Agahinda no gusuhuza umutima ni urugendo rukomeye rutari rumwe kuri buri wese. Kubana n’ibyiyumvo cyangwa igitekerezo ko uwo wakundaga yapfuye bisaba kwihangana, kumva ndetse no kwigirira impuhwe ubwacu.

2.Gutana burundu (divorce) n’uwo mwashakanye cyangwa by’igihe gito (separation)

Gutana burundu n’uwo mwashakanye (cyangwa gukora divorce) cyangwa gutana by’igihe gito (separation) i Rwanda kera byitwaga kwahukana k’umugore cyangwa k’umugabo (ngo na bo basigaye bahukana) bizwi nka ‘separation’ mu mahanga bishobora gutera ihungabana mu mutwe no mu mutima kubera impamvu nyinshi.
Benshi bibakubita hasi bikabashegesha (shock), kumva nta kivurira ufite, kumva waragambaniwe (betrayal) ndetse no kumeneka k’umutima (heartbreak).

Bidatandukanye nko gupfusha, kongera gusubirana ku wo wari wari we n’ibikuranga mbere mu isi hari ubwo wumva biguteye ubwoba mu mutima.

3. Kwimuka, kugura cyangwa kugurisha inzu mubamo

Mu byerekeye ubukungu, kwikorera umutwaro w’ideni rya banki (akenshi ku nshuro ya mbere), ukaba uri mu bihe utamenyereye by’urugendo rwo hano na hariya rwo kugura cyangwa kugurisha aho kuba, kwimuka, kugura cyangwa kugurisha inzu utuyemo bitera ‘stress’ yewe na ba bantu tuzi nk’abantu batuje kurusha abandi mu muryango mugari. Imibare igaragaza ko Abanyamerika 40% bavuga ko kugura inzu ari cyo kintu cyababayeho mu buzima kikabajagaraza ubwonko kurusha ibindi.

4. Indwara ikomeye cyangwa imvune

Iki kintu kibaho kigahindura ubuzima gishobora kutugiraho ingaruka mu buryo bwinshi bukomeye. Ubushobozi bwacu bwo kubona imibereho ndetse n’uburyo dusanzwe tumenyereyemo kugira uruhare- no gutanga umusanzu wacu- mu muryango mugari bishobora mu buryo bwihuse kugirwaho ingaruka, ntiriwe mvuga igihu kituza mu maso gutuma tutarora ngo turebe uko ahazaza hazamera hanyuma no kubura umutuzo biterwa no kubaho tubeshejweho n’ubufasha bw’abandi bituma tubaho tubuze ukwigenga binatera akenshi kwigunga kurushaho.

5. Gutakaza akazi

Kubura akazi wari ugafite iyo bikubayeho bisa n’aho utakaje igice kinini kimwe mu bikuranga, cyane cyane, muri iyi si ya none aho ikibazo cya mbere uwo ari we wese muhuye bwa mbere cyangwa mudaherukana akubaza ari ngo “Ukora iki?’’
Kubura akazi bigira ingaruka ku bushobozi bwacu bwo kugira icyo twiha cyangwa duha (provide) umuryango wacu ngo ubeho. Birema ikintu cyo kutamenya (uncertainty) uko ejo hazamera ndetse bikazamura cyane ukumva tudatekanye muri twe.

6. Urugo

Yego rwo ni ikintu cyiza kijagaraza umutwe (good kind of stress) gusa urugo no kurwubaka hashize igihe kirekire ruzwiho gutera impinduka kuri benshi muri twe.
Bishobora kugorana cyane kwiga kubana n’undi no kumenyera icyo kuba “umwe mu bashakanye” bisaba, harimo n’ibyo yaba uwo mwashakanye cyangwa sosiyeti iba ikwitezeho ndetse n’inshingano ziyongera byanga bikunda.

7. Inshingano z’amafaranga ziyongera n’imyanzuro ku kuyakoresha

Kwikorera imitwaro iremereye y’iby’ubukungu cyangwa gufata ibyemezo bikomeye ku mikoreshereze y’amafaranga bishobora kuza bikaba impamvu imwe mu zidutera kumva tubuze umutekano ndetse bikadutinyisha aho twumva dutinye ubukene bikaba byanagabanya icyizere twigirira.

Na none, kumva usa n’aho ufatiwe mu mutego w’akazi ukora no kumva iteka wifuza ko umushahara wawe wakwiyongera kugira ngo ubashe kuzuza inshingano usabwa mu by’ubukungu ni ikintu gishobora gutuma runaka cyangwa nyirarunaka arara atagohetse rigacya.

8. Ikiruhuko cy’iza bukuru

Gutekereza ku kiruhuko cy’iza bukuru ni ikindi kintu “cyiza” kijagaraza umutwe mu buryo benshi muri twe tugena imigambi (dupangira) y’ubuzima bwacu bwose ku gihe tuzaba noneho tugiye kureka akazi (duhemwaho ku kwezi) ngo tujye mu kiruhuko kuko dukuze.

Ku batekereza kuri iyi ngingo, iki na cyo ni ikintu kizana impinduka ikomeye mu buzima kandi kikagira icyo gikora ku miterere ndangamuntu yacu.

Kuba hari umubare w’amafaranga ntarengwa winjiza noneho ukaba unazi ko muri kimwe cya kabiri cy’ubuzima bwawe bishobora gutera benshi ubwoba.

9. Kwita ku muntu ukuze cyangwa mwene wanyu urwaye

Ibi si ibintu birushya gusa umubiri wawe n’amarangamutima ahubwo ingaruka n’ingano y’igikomere cyangizaho runaka ni kinini. Hamwe n’ukwiyingera kw’inshingano rimwe na rimwe uko urushinge rw’isaha rutera, abantu benshi bita ku bandi (caregivers) usanga badashobora kwiyitaho ubwabo uko bikwiye, bifungurira umuryango ibibazo byaba ibyo ku mubiri cyangwa ku mitima yabo ubwabo.

10. Ibihe bitera ihungabana (ikiza kamere, icyaha, urugomo, icyorezo)

Hari ibibazo byinshi ushobore gusanga kuri iki cyiciro, gusa bisa n’aho ikibabaza kurutaho ari uko iyo bibaye, akenshi ubura uko ubugenza kuko nyine nta cyo wumva wabikoraho cyane ko nta ruhare uba wabigizemo cyangwa ngo ube wariteguye ko biba.

Uburyo bwo guhangana na stress y’ubuzima

Kubera ko agahinda njagaragazamutwe (stress) kagira ingaruka kuri buri wese ku giti mu buryo bwihariye, ibisubizo byiza kurusha ibindi ndetse n’ingamba twafata na zo zishingira ku muntu ku giti cye, bivuga ko nta gisubizo kimwe rukumbi kibereye ibibazo byose. Uburyo bwo guhangana na byo bishingiye ku muntu ku giti cye nib wo buryo bwiza bwo gukemura ikibazo.

Ni ingenzi kumenya ko uburyo duhangana n’utubazo twa stress umunsi ku munsi byerekana uko tuzabasha kwitwara ku bihe bihindura ubuzima nibitugeraho.
Kwitoza imigirire ihoraho ni inking yo guhangana n’agahinda njagaragazabwonko. Gutegereza gushyira mu bikorwa ingamba ari uko haje ikintu runaka kiduhungabanya bishobora gutuma izi ngamba dufata bigorana kurushaho kuba zatanga umusaruro.

Nk’umukinnyi wa tennis (umukino Perezida Kagame azwiho gukina) nkunda gukoresha igereranya ku kuba ku mukino wa nyuma wa Wimbledon no kwifuza gutera agapira neza nkagahamya nkerekeza mu kibuga cy’uwo duhanganye ngo ntsinde umukino.

Wakwizera ute gutsinda umukino wa tennis utaritoje unasubiramo uburyo utera agapira utangiza umukino cyangwa ugakuramo gatewe kugeza igihe bizaba bikenewe kizagerera? Bisa n’aho nta mahirwe wagira yo kubibasha. Si byo?

Ibi rero nta ho bitanira n’uburyo bwo ku-‘managinga’ siteresi. Nutegereza kugeza igihe cyangwa ikintu kikujagaraza cyane, ikiguhungabanya cyangwa cya gihe kizana impinduka za rimwe na rizima kikugeraho hanyuma ukagerageza gushyira mu bikorwa ingamba nshya, bizagorana kurushaho kuba wabona umusaruro ushaka.

Hano hasi hari utuntu 12 wakora uhangana neza n’ibintu bibabaza mu buzima.

1. Menya uko wiyumva

Ugomba kumenya ndetse ukiyemerera kubanza gukanja, ukarigata uko wiyumva (feelings) igihe haje ikintu kikujagaragaza mu mutwe. Ni cyo kintu cy’ingenzi kurusha ibindi cyo guheraho.

Ibihe byose bitera agahinda bishobora kubyutsa amarangamutima akomeye yawe. Kumenya ayo marangamutima no guhitamo uburyo bwo kuyasohora bizagufasha noneho kumenya gukomeza ugana imbere. Ahari, uri umuntu ukunda kwisomera ikinyamakuru, kuganira n’inshuti, cyangwa kwihugenza ukavana ibitekerezo ku buryo wiyumva.

Niba utazi neza icyo wakora ngo kigufashe, shaka ikintu wagerageza by’igihe gito (n’aho cyaba iminota itanu kugeza ku icumi) hanyuma utangirire aho.

2. Kwiganiriza

Kwiganiriza ni akantu kagaragaza uburyo imbere mu mitima yacu dusobanura umujagararo uri mu buzima bwacu. Kora ku marangamutima n’ibyiyumvo byawe (nk’uko nabivuze) ariko witondera cyane kuba utakongera siteresi yawe wivugaho ibintu bibi cyangwa ngo wicire imanza zo=idashira ku kibazo urimo ucamo n’uburyo uri kugikemura.

Kora ku buryo uhagarika kwivugaho cyangwa kwitekerezaho nabi, ahubwo wigaragarize ubwawe impuhwe n’ineza, witere akanyabugabo mu gihe uca muri iki gihe kikujagaraza mu buzima- nk’uko wagateye ingabo mu bitugu inshuti cyangwa uwo ukunda.

3. Indyo nziza

Kurya neza ntibifasha gusa urungano rw’ubudahangarwa bw’amagara ahubwo binongera ingufu kandi bishobora kugenzura no gushyira ku gipimo gikwiriye ikigero cy’umusemburo wa cortisol. Kugira stress cyangwa ibintu biguhagaritse umutima bidutera kwifuza ibyo kurya bituma stress yiyongera (nk’isukari n’ibiryo byanyujijwe mu nganda). Ukwiye kugerageza kurya ibiryo bigabanya umujagararo (stress) n’umuhangayiko birimo nk’ibikize ku nyubakamubiri (protein) n’ibikungahaye kuri vitamin B.

4. Gumana amazi mu mubiri wirinde umwuma

Kimwe mu bintu bibi biruta ibindi wakora ukiyangiza kurushaho igihe ujagaraye ni ukwemera kubaho nta mazi ahagije akuri mu mubiri mbese ufite umwuma (dehydrated). Uretse no kuba ufite umwuma, no kuba igipimo cya dehydration (kuba ufite amazi make mu mubiri) cyaba kiri hagati bishobora kugutera kumva ufite uhangayitse (anxiety), ufite agahinda gakabije (depression), kumva ingufu zagabanutse, ndetse bigukomereye kurushaho gutekereza neza.

5. Gerageza usinzire bihagije

Iki na cyo kirakomeye cyane kuko nk’uko biri ku kugira amazi ahagije mu mubiri (ibintu ubundi dushobora kwihata tukabigeraho), gusinzira ntibyoroha igihe ufite ibintu byinshi mu ntekerezo. Gusinzira neza bizwiho gufasha mu kugenzura amarangamutima y’umuntu yewe no gukira ibikomere biterwa n’ibihe njagaragazabwonko mu gihe gito gishoboka.

Kugira ngo ibi ubigereho, kora gahunda wihe intego yo gusinzira neza uko bishoboka (hari inkuru twabikozeho).

6. Kora imyitozo ngororamubiri

Hari ubushakashatsi bwinshi bushyigikira gukora siporo cyangwa ikindi gikorwa cyose ukoresha ibice by’umubiri nk’uburyo bwo guhangana na siteresi. Byagaragajwe ko iyo ugize ibikorwa by’amaboko ukora byongera ikigero cy’umusemburo wa endorphin (uba mu bwonko ushinzwe ibyo koherezayo ibimenyetso bisa n’amashanyarazi), bigatuma usinzira neza kurushaho, bigatuma wumva akanyamuneza (mood nziza), bigasukura mu mutwe hawe, kandi bigafasha mu kurwanya ingaruka mbi zaterwa na siteresi.

7. Menya gutoranya ibigukikiza

Kumenya gutoranya ibigukikiza, na byo birimo ibintu bigukikije bifatika, abantu muhorana cyangwa muganira, ibiganiro bya TV ureba cyangwa inkuru usoma. Iri ni rimwe mu mahame ya neuroplasticity (ubushobozi bw’ubwonko bwo gukururuka nk’umukoba).

Buriya ubwonko bwacu bumeze nka ‘sponge’ bukaba bumira ibyo tubwegereje hanyuma bukiremera isi yacu y’imbere buyikuye aho. Nufata ubwonko bwawe ukabwegereza abantu batuje, b’abanyamahoro, beza n’ibidukikije bisa bityo, ibyo rwose buzabimira bunguri cyangwa nk’uko itorosho imira amazi. Nubuha ibitandukanye n’ibyo, ni byo buzakira nyine.

8. Shyiraho imipaka na nyirantarengwa

Kumenya ibintu ushobore kwihanganira mu bihe njagarazabwonko ni ingenzi cyane. Kurinda ingufu zawe, ugashyiraho imipaka na nyirantarengwa, kandi ukabigumaho utagamburuzwa cyangwa ngo uhungabanywe n’utuyaga twose duhushye ni ingirakamaro cyane.

Nta cyo bitwaye kwishingira igiti ukivugira wowe ubwawe n’icyo ukeneye. Abantu bazumva, Nibatabyumva kandi, birashoboka ko ari bo mpamvu ukwiye gushyiraho imipaka.

9. Humeka, Tekereza (Meditate), Ruhuka

Shaka akanya ko kuva mu byo urimo witekerezeho hanyuma wiyuburure. Hari inyigo nyinshi zivuga ko gutiurisha ubwonko ugatekereza bihindura imiterere y’ubwonko n’ibikorwa byabwo mu bice byabwo bifitanye isano no kwita ku bintu (attention) no kugenzura amarangamutima. Hindura imiterere y’ubwonko bwawe ubujyana aheza haruta uko buteye ubu.

10. Shaka ubufasha bwiza

Ihuze (connect) n’abandi. Kumarana igihe n’inshuti, umuryango, aho usengera, ikipe ukoreramo siporo, kalabu yo mu busitani cyangwa irindi tsinda rifasha byagiye bigaragazwa igihe kimwe n’ibindi nk’igikoresho gikomeye mu kugenzura umujagararo w’ubwonko kuko cyongera ibyiyumvo byo kwizerana, kumva utekanye no kumva uruhutse, ibintu byongera ubushobozi bw’umubiri bwo guhangana na siteresi.

11. Gira akamenyero kadahinduka

Kumenya icyo witega buri munsi bifasha kugabanya umuhangayiko no kujagarara k’ubwonko. Uretse ibyo kandi, kuba ufite ikintu cy’akamenyero ukora bishobora gutera ibyishimo kandi bigasigasira muri rusange amagara yaba ay’umubiri n’ayo mu mutwe.

Hanyuma rero, uburyo biutangaje kurusha ubundi wakoresha uhangana n’agahinda cyangwa umujagararo ndetse na siyansi yakwerekana nk’ingenzi:

12. Shaka uburyo bwo kwemera no kwakira akababaro

Bumwe mu bushakashatsi bushya cyane ni ubwakozwe na Alia Crum, umwalimu ufasha (Assistant Professor) muri Kaminuza ya Stamford mu ishami ry’ubuzima bwo mu mutwe. Crum atugira inama yo gukora ku buryo tugira ubwonko cyangwa umutwe (mind) yakira kandi ikabana na siteresi.

Ibi bisa gato nk’ubusazi, si byo? Ukibisoma wenda, yego. Gusa kwakira akababaro na siteresi ni ingenzi kuko uburyo dufata siteresi ni bwo bugena uko birangira tuyitwayemo.

Prof. Crum ajya inama yo kugerageza kurema ibitekerezo n’imyizerere bitandukanye kuri siteresi nk’ 1) kwibona nk’umuntu ushobora guhangana na siteresi, nubwo waba uzi ko uzigira kandi ugakurira mu ngorane zikugarije ndetse n’ 2) kubona siteresi, agahinda, akababaro n’umuhangayiko nka kimwe mu bice bigize ubuzima.

Bitewe n’icyo wibwira ku gihe njagarazabwonko, ushobore kwikorera urukingo ewa siteresi (stress inoculation twavuze mbere). Usanga ubwonko bukora igikorwa kiremereye cyo kwisubiranya mu masaha menshi nyuma yo guhura n’ibihe njagarazabwonko bikomeye. Uku kwisubiranya kurema ku bwonko ikintu kidufasha guhangana n’ibizatubaho ubwo na none ibihe njagarazabwonko bizadutahaho.

Na none nk’aho ntacyo bivuze, inyigo n’ubushakashatsi byerekana ko iyo tubona siteresi nk’ikintu cyangiza, tuba dufite ibyago byinshi byo guhindukira tukajya gushakira ubufasha ku buryo bwangiza bwo guhangana na yo burimo nk’inzoga n’ibiyobyabwenge.

Muri Make

Ku bw’amahirwe make, niba uri ikiremwamuntu, nta kabuza hario ibihe bihindura ubuzima (life-changing events) bizakugeraho [Bavuga ko isi idasakaye, ko nawe wanyagirwa, sinshaka kuvuga ko uwo isi itarakaranga iba imushakira ibirungo]. Ibihe nk’ibi kandi nta muntu ubyitegura mu buryo bwuzuye, gusa kugira imyitwarire ihoraho buri munsi nk’iyo twavuze ruguru bishobora kwangushya no koroshya uburibwe ibihe by’umuraba n’umuhengeri w’ubuzima bizana ku buryo bitagorana cyane kubyihanganira.

Rimwe na rimwe, siteresi ishobora kukuremerera peee!!! Gusa nyabuneka, nibikubaho uzihutire kwa muganga umubwire uko wiyumva hanyuma ushake ubufasha niba ubukeneye.

Iradukunda Fidele Samson

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