Kuva isi yaremwa kugeza uyu munsi ihora mu mpinduka kandi izo mpinduka ntiziteze kurangira nyamara ku bafite ubumenyi kandi bazi kwitegereza neza, ntibakangwa n’ibihe ahubwo bamemya uko bitwara mur’ibyo bihe uko bisimburana badatakaje agaciro kabo.
Impinduka z’isi ntizabaye mu bindi ngo zisige kugera mu bantu. Inshingano n’uburenganzira by abagabo n’abagore zagiye zihinduka kandi n’ubu ziracyahinduka. Umugabo ntakiri umugabuzi kampara w’urugo, naho umugore ntakiri uwo kwirirwa mu rugo gusa. Ingo ntizikiri iz’ ababana badahuje ibitsina n’abahuje ibitsina barazishinga gusa naho ntihaburamo uwitwa umugore undi akaba umugabo. Ni nako kandi kwinuba ko abagabo nyabagabo bagenda baba ab’ibura bigenda byiyongera.
Umubano hagati y’abagabo n’abagore uragenda uzamo byinshi bibyara amakimbirane mu muryango maze ingaruka zayo zikaba umutwaro ku gihugu kuko igihugu gishingira kandi kigahera ku muryango.
Rwanda Magazine rero nk’ikinyamakuru cyanyu kifuje kubagezaho ingingo zizakurikirana zisaga 50 twagejweho n’umusomyi wacu zizafasha abagabo n’abiyumvamo ko ari bo, kuba bagira ubumenyi mu kwimenya no kumenya uburyo bahangana n’ibibazo bahura nabyo haba muri roho, akazi no mu buriri.
INGINGO #1: REKERA AHO KWIZERA KO HAR’IGIHE BYOSE BIZABA BYAKEMUTSE MU BUZIMA
Ikosa rikomeye abagabo benshi bakunda gukora ni uko akenshi bizera ko umunsi umwe byose bizajya mu buryo bikagenda neza. Bakibwira bati: "Nshobora gukora bihagije, nkabona uko nzaruhuka ngatuza" abandi ngo "Umunsi umwe umugore azanyumva neza 100% nta rujijo" cyangwa ati "Reka nkore cyane uyu munsi kugira ngo umunsi umwe nzabone igihe cy’uko nakora ibyo nifuza kandi nkunda mu buzima".
Ikosa ry’igitsinagabo ni ugutekereza ko ibintu cyangwa ibibazo bizakemuka mu buryo buzwi kandi bufite umurongo uhamye runaka; kandi mu by’ukuri bidateze gukemuka no kurangira kuko mu gihe ubuzima bugikomeje ariko umuntu aba asabwa kwirirwa atekereza, agoragoza ndetse akunda ibyo arimo muri ako kanya mu buryo buzira kwizigama ahubwo bwuzuye ubwitange ntagereranywa.
Wigumya rero gutegereza ibihe byiza n’ibintu byiza kuko ntibiteze kuza kuko ubuzima buhora ari urugamba. Ahubwo guhera uyu munsi jya ufata umwanya byibuze isaha imwe ku munsi ukore icyo aricyo cyose wahoraga urindiriza gukora ngo ni uko utegereje kubanza kugira amafaranga ahagije, ngo utegereje ko abana bamara gukura bakagenda cyangwa se ngo uzabikora wasoje inshingano unshinzwe kuko aribwo uzaba wahugutse. Wikomeza kwirindiriza. Wikwizerera mw’iyobera ngo "Umunsi umwe ubwo ibintu byose bizaba byahindutse bimeze neza"; ahubwo gerageza gukora icyo ukunda none uyu munsi, kora icyo wumva wavukiye gukora nk’umuhamagaro wawe ubu nonaha; uyu munsi.
Jya umara byibuze isaha imwe ku munsi ukora icyo wumva ukunda gukora kiguhora mu mutima, wihuzwa n’inshingano ufite za buri munsi zikugose. Gusa unabimenye ko ushobora kubona bidashoboka cyangwa se ukisanga utagishaka kubikora, ibyo ntacyo bitwaye kuko bigufasha kumenya ko bimwe wavugaga ngo nzabikora, nzabikora mu gihe kizaza kwari ukwibeshya.
Kurindiriza ibikorwa runaka biterwa ahanini no kuba tudafite ubushake bwo kwitanga tutizigamye tuba dusabwa. Amafaranga make, inshingano z’umuryango ntibyigeze bibuza umugabo gukora icyo yifuza akunda kimuhora ku mutima mu gihe afite ubushake n’ubwitange. Gusa ibyo nibyo bibera urwitwazo ku bagabo benshi kandi burya icyo baba babura ni ubushake n ’ubwitange mbere ya byose.
Suzuma rero neza niba uy’umunsi witeguye kwitanga bizira kwizigama maze nk’intambwe ya mbere byibuze ujye umara isaha imwe ku munsi witanga byuzuye muby’aribyo byose ukunda wifuza gukora ku buryo byibuze nujya kuryama wumva ko utabereyeho ubusa ahubwo har’umurava, ubuhanga, ubwitange n’urukundo watanze nubwo bidahagije ariko wagerageje.
Uretse kwibeshya ko hari igihe ubuzima buzagenda neza bisesuye, ushobora no kwibeshya wibwira ko umunsi umwe umugore wawe wishakiye azahinduka byuzuye. Wigumya kubitegereza rwose ahubwo ibwire ko azagumya akamera atyo iteka; maze niba ubona imigirire ye na kamere ye n’ imiterere ye utabashije kubyihanganira umureke kandi mu mahoro ubudasubiza amaso inyuma kuko ntiwamuhindura. Ariko mu gihe ubona kamere ye n’imico ye bijya bigutera urujijo, ukabona biruhije ukuntu ujye umenya ko ariko bizahora. Uburyo igitsina gore gikoramo ibyacyo byose bihora bisa nk’iyobera rigora ubwonko bw’abagabo kurisobanukirwa.
Rero ubutaha niwisanga ushaka kuba wawundi uvuga ngo ndashaka guca ku mugore wanjye kur’iyi ngeso ubutazayisubira ukundi, uziturize ahubwo umuhe urukundo, umukoreho umuguyaguya umubwira ko umukunda no mu gihe yakoze ibyo wowe utifuza. Haranira kumwakira uko ari uko, kuko wakwisaza, wavuga amagambo menshi ute ndetse ukanatabaza, ntacyo bizatanga ahubwo erekana urukundo aho gushaka kumuhindura burundu ngo areke ingeso afite ikubangamiye.
Nta na rimwe uteze kuzabura ibyo utumvikananaho n’ umugore wawe. Iga kwihangana mu gihe mutumva ibintu kimwe kandi ibyo bihe abagore basa nk’ababikunda. Urukundo umuha ruzira kwizigama rushobora guhindura ingeso ze, ariko umujinya n’uburakari ngo urashaka kumuhindura ntacyo bimara.
Mu gihe uri ku isi no mu gihe ufite umugore uzahora ubona ibigeragezo n’ibibazo utibwiraga ko byabaho. Usabwa guhitamo hagati yo guhangana nabyo witanga byuzuye cyangwa se kwirindiriza wibwira ko uzahangana nabyo mu gihe kizaza byose byakemutse nubwo icyo gihe kidateze kuzabaho. Abagabo babayeho ubuzima bufite intego kandi bwuzuye ni abagabo batirindirizaga ngo nuko nta mafaranga, nta mutekano cyangwa se ngo bategereje ibihe byiza. Yewe ntibanarindiraga ngo babanze bagire abagore.
Icyo ushaka gukora jya ugifata nk’impano ihebuje haba ku mugore wawe cyangwa isi, maze uharanire gukora icyo ushoboye uyu munsi. Igihe cyose wirindiriza uba uri guta igihe, kandi igihe cyose uri guta igihe niko uba ujya kure y’intego yawe nyamukuru mu buzima bwawe.
RUGABA Yvan
